ØØ1: Not Beer™
Perfection has been achieved for most things in life.
Peanut butter is now squirtable thanks to Justin's. The Apple device you're reading off of would blow the minds of Aristotle and Sun Tzu. Those new Hokas of yours make every step you take feel like you're walking on a cloud.
It's like that one scene in Louis C.K.'s old stand-up:
"Everything's great, yet my life sucks."
Selling a physical product today comes with the non-negotiable task of charades. And I'm totally here for it, as long as it's done with congruency. Come, let me walk you through some examples.
Pit Viper is a brand that I absolutely adore, yet will never buy from.
Why?
Because they're congruent. It's not pretending to be anything—it simply is.
Red Bull is all about being extreme. “Adrian, every eighteen-year old taking Marketing 101 knows this.” Look closer, bud. It's a very specific extreme, i.e., life-threatening, oh-shit-I-could've-died sports. None of their sponsors are oil painters, ballet dancers, Wii tennis players, or professors. Even if these examples were done "extremely," it wouldn't be on-brand.
Despite the insane revenue they're raking in, thus nullifying my opinion, Liquid Death is all over the place.
Their congruency is being wild, yet they just released a salt and pepper shaker, so I don't know what to think anymore. They went from comedic gore to using influential people like Martha Stewart, Tony Hawk, and Tom Segura, to giving away a jet, and then selling salt and pepper shakers—the list goes on.
Was I a fan in the beginning?
Yes.
Am I now?
Like the words any kid hates to hear from their parents:
"We're not mad, Adrian; we're just disappointed."
And my disappointment has converted into exhaustion. Like the fifth stage of denial or whatever that expression is.
I think Liquid Death and I should see other people.
Which leads me to today's ad creation for Not Beer™.
ØØ1: Not Beer™
Nearly a carbon copy of Anheuser-Busch's Budweiser, Not Beer™ is American-made sparkling water packaged in infinitely recyclable aluminum. Their whole shtick is being the most patriotic, freedom-of-speech canned beverage out there that won't give you a DUI.
And so far, they're pretty congruent.
While just now typing 'DUI' seven seconds ago and thinking it would make a killer angle for an ad, let's continue on with the two ads I created. With the two words 'patriotism' and 'water' and the one thing they hate 'plastic' written in all caps, huge, on a sheet of paper, these were the two adverts I created:
Advert number two:
I've no affiliation with them.
They're sold in two places:
'Til next time,
Adrian
