The best way to write your next birthday card.

Help make the world a better place and stop sending e-birthday cards.

Really, come on; even if there’s money in it, are you even trying at that point?

Also, birthday cards with nothing written inside and bills falling out, aside from whatever Hallmark wrote, are only marginally better.

A margin so razor-thin, the level you care is relative to the amount of cash you get and who it’s from.

Jumping into it:

The best way to write a birthday card is after the birthday.

Or at least after the cake and gifts.

Why?

Well, for most, the process of writing a Birthday card is either stressful or an afterthought.

“I don’t know what to write…”

So you find yourself resorting to the typical boilerplate:

“Hey, Steve. Hope you have a great birthday. May you get everything you want and enjoy your gifts.”

You make an attempt, trying to recall a significant moment you shared with that person, yet you find nothing.

Also, picking one moment to hone in on is easier said than done.

Writing the card after the event?

Granted you don’t blackout—which if you do, that’s material—you have the 24-hours leading up to, through and after the birthday to write about.

It’s really the best way.

With a fault, yes; but the best way nonetheless.

Written after the cake:

“Happy Birthday, Christian!

I’m glad you found time within your busy schedule as a college student to come down from Santa Barbara to visit your family. Since when have you liked Oreo cake? Mom made green enchiladas which they were actually decent. Your birthday gift from me was taking you to that Thai restaurant, yesterday—don’t ask me for money. Anyway, Happy Birthday, congrats on turning 21 and thanks for being my brother.

– A.”

This kind of birthday card is the birthday card of birthday cards.

One you keep, put on your fridge and reread it years down the line.

As for the other birthday cards?

They simply get tossed.

– George